Sigh...

Jack's behavior. It's not good. His obsessions have returned full force and it's getting harder and harder to redirect him. It can be anything. I can tell it's going to be "one of those days" when he requests one of his obsessions before he even opens his eyes in the morning. Today it was the baby. This may sound harmless, or even sweet...but it's like there's a button that's pushed and we don't know where the off switch is.

Jack: Baby, up!
Mom: She's sleeping, she needs her rest.
Jack: Baby, GET HER!
Mom: Let's go eat.
Jack: BABY!!??!!!

and it can go on and on and on and on...I found the more I try to explain, the more he shuts down and repeats the request. It escalates until he runs away from me and finds something hard (like the floor) to hit his head. I've become very good a leaping over and placing my hand between his sweet little head and the object of banging.

If I do get him distracted enough to move from one area of obsession to something else, that too quickly goes down hill fast. If he's eating his bowl needs to be filled to a certain level at all times. If he can see the bottom, he freaks...and shreiks, and I gently remind him to use his words.

This is just a small example -- and if it doesn't make too much sense, it's because it's hard to explain. He's not being naughty or spoiled, it's truly related to the sparks and misfirings in his brain. Not seizures -- but it's like his thought process runs a million miles a minute and his communication only works a small bit, and we can't keep up.

I want to write more about this. I need to keep a diary of sorts, maybe to spot trends, maybe just to vent, maybe to have another mom or dad say they understand, they've been there too? I need to label these posts...and I also need to remember to post about the good days too.

He had 3 good days at school last week, then a seizure, then med changes...now his behavior is a mess. He's very emotional, obsessed, and not content to do anything more than a few minutes at a time.

To add to the stress-thick air at our house, poor Morgan is sick. She has a thick runny nose and has trouble eating and sleeping. She woke up last night while Jason and I were watching TV. We brought her out with us and she just cried and cried...poor kiddo. She wanted to get down to walk and when I put her down she went to take a step and fell flat on her face...no arms out, nothing to break her fall, just smack on her precious mouth. It made Jason cringe and bite his fist...I scooped her up for some mommy hugs, held her for a while and when I looked down at her we were both covered in blood! I tried to stay calm, but I felt weak in the knees. We rushed her to the bathroom and wiped her mouth as best as we could. We couldn't tell where she was bleeding from. After a few minutes the bleeding stopped and we were able to clean her up (all the while still screaming at the top of her lungs)...and we saw no harm came to her teeth or gums, it was her top lip that split. She settled down after a drink of water and we cuddled for over an hour until she fell asleep. It was just one of those things that happened so quickly that it seemed unreal. She's okay, just bruised a bit on her lip.

She's still sleeping now, and I plan on letting her sleep in no matter what harm comes to our bedtime schedule. She needs her rest.

Tomorrow the bus comes for Jack. I am anxious, but I know the school and bus company are prepared just in case Jack would have a seizure...hopefully Jack will have a good day at school, and have fun with his friends. He really seemed to love it last week.

I need a refill on my coffee now ; )

Also, sending prayers to those in the path of Gustav, stay safe, we are thinking of you.