Welcome Home Tyler -- Our Adoption Video

I love the site rainbowkids.org -- I wanted to share an article I read just now:

http://www.rainbowkids.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=714

Finding Me I am American June 01,2010 / Mary Behan

Four Irish-Americans and a Chinese girl walked into a restaurant. If you are waiting for a punchline, that wasn't a joke: It's just my family whenever we go out to dinner. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Mary and I was adopted from China when I was two and a half. I've always wondered what people think when my family and I are out together. Do they see what I see: two parents and their three children? Or do they see two Americans, their two sons, and mentally check me off as my older or younger brother's girlfriend? Do they even think about what they see, or am I just obsessing over the minor details? For a long time, I hoped I was just obsessing, because it was those sorts of questions that made me feel insecure about my place in my family. Those questions made me doubt myself, and, as cliché as it seems, they made me wonder about my identity. It began with exasperated sarcasm. "Wait, so, are you Japanese or Chinese?" "Neither," I would say, "I'm Irish." There would be a pause. And then,"Wait, really?" My general answer to The Question was, "No, not really," but if I was feeling particularly irritated, I would say, "What, you couldn't tell?" Eventually the sardonic remark, accompanied by a roll of the eyes and perfected deadpan, became my way of ignoring a question that, for some reason, bothered me. It bothered me because even though I was a Chinese girl adopted by an Irish-Catholic family, I did not want to be categorized as "Asian" by other people when, for the better part of my life, I did not even categorize myself as Asian. Friends' lighthearted comments about my "Asian-ness" were actually funny, but when someone, in all seriousness, asked me about my nationality, I always felt offended on some level; I did not care what I was, so what gave other people the right to question? In the summer of 2007, after my freshman year, I traveled to Beijing to study with a Choate Rosemary Hall program. There, while all of my white American friends called me Fu Ping, my Chinese host family insisted on calling me Mary. It was their attempt to make me seem more American despite my obvious Chinese appearance, because having an American in the home was exotic. I had grown up in a Roman-Catholic middle school, where, to my classmates, everything about me screamed Asian!; this was the first time I had ever met anyone who considered me just plain American. It was a strange concept and more than a little odd, but I liked it. When I came home from China that summer, I experienced another "first" in regards to my race. It was my cousin's wedding, and someone I had never seen before, decided to go down the line of cousins with whom I was sitting and play guess-the-parents. To my cousins, she said,"You're Bridget's, right? You are, too. And you're Susan and Chris's," while my younger brother received a,"You're Tish and Mike's." She stopped at me. Her blank stare and hesitation lasted only a moment, but it was a moment too long. "Tish and Mike's," I supplied hastily. "Oh." She couldn't tell. But then, I tried to tell myself, why should she be able to? I mean, it's not like I was ever going to hear, "You have your father's eyes," or "You look just like your mother" from anyone. Despite knowing all this intellectually, I still felt hurt, rather than annoyed or uncomfortable. That one incident kept replaying in my mind; I was incapable of just letting it go as I did most other comments about my race. It made me think. What am I? I came closer to answering that question the summer after my sophomore year, when I learned through awkward conversation and random speculation that my roommate at the Middlebury Monterey Language Academy was from the same orphanage as I was. Later, when I returned home from camp, my mom and I set out to see if we could find other girls from my orphanage, or maybe even from the foster family that took care of me after my brief stint as a newborn in the orphanage. Our investigation, including the exchange of part-English, part-Chinese, and part-Babelfish Online Translator emails, ended with a trip to China at the beginning of last summer, and a foray into the first two-and-a-half years of my life there. We planned to visit the relatively small city of Fuzhou, in Jiangxi Province. While there, I found memories of a toddler who chased rabbits, pretended to do schoolwork with her elder siblings and practiced making sad faces. I heard tales of a girl who knew she was leaving and told her daddy she was going to America to make a lot of money to buy him a drink, and stories of a newly adopted child who sat at the hotel door and screamed until she cried herself to sleep. I came face-to-face with the forgotten. With the physical remnants of my past. I found an old, one story cement house riddled with over-grown weeds and traditional good luck signs pasted on the sides of the door in faded red. I saw a broken crib kept long after its occupant departed for America, and a garden through which a toddler used to traipse under the illusion she was helping to grow things. And, finally, I met a family so full of love, that even after they endured the pain of watching me leave, they cared for 13 more infants, ending with a girl they found on their doorstep. I met a mother, a father, and two older siblings who despite 14 years and a language barrier still called me their daughter and sister. I met a family that made me feel unbearably guilty: I wanted to be able to tell them I loved them and remembered them, because they so obviously loved and remembered me. I wanted them to be more than strangers to me so badly that I cried when I knew no one was watching. And yet. There was something missing. As selfish as it makes me seem, there was a whisper of disappointment that only I was able to sense, a feeling that some integral part of what I was looking for just wasn't there. When I went to visit my foster family, I was told many things about myself, but I was not told who I was. I realized, after the trip, that I should not have expected to find the answer to my question of self-identity with my foster family. They could not tell me if I was Chinese, or American, or perhaps even half-Chinese and half-Leprechaun; that was something only I could figure out. But I did not know where to begin. Strangely enough, the beginning of enlightenment came later in the summer, as the start of school drew close and I finally picked up my copy of "Confucius Lives Next Door." It was ultimately a conversation with my mother about the summer reading book and the campus speaker Cathy Bao Bean that really settled things for me. The conversation went something like this: "So, I heard there was a speaker," my mom said casually while I was impatiently trying to hang up the phone on her. "Yeah," I said unenthusiastically. "Cathy Bao Bean." "Well, what did she talk about?" "I don't know. Being Chinese and American?" "Well, Mary," my mom said in that reproachful tone of hers, "don't you think that's kind of pertinent to you?" I thought about it. Cathy Bao Bean is Chinese. I'm Chinese. Cathy Bao Bean is an American citizen. So am I. Therefore, two plus two must equal . "No," I told my mom frankly. "Not really. She's actually Chinese." What I meant was, Cathy Bao Bean grew up in a Chinese household, and she learned those Confucian values that Reid writes about in "Confucius Lives Next Door." AHA! my mind all but screamed at me. So this is the answer, it continued.This is who you are. Perhaps it seems narrow-minded, but I don't identify with the Chinese, socially or culturally. Like many Americans, I don't even fully understand their society or their culture. I just look like them. So I would like to thank the author of "Confucius Lives Next Door," Cathy Bao Bean, and my mom for guiding me to that elusive identity of mine: I am Mary Katherine Behan, which is about as Irish a name as you can get. I stand at an intimidating height of four-feet-eleven-inches, and, just like the rest of my family, I am American. Embodied in my idea of being an American is that I have the capacity to be whoever I want to be, regardless of what I look like. The world can assume I speak fluent Chinese, or Japanese, or Korean, or am good at math, simply for the fact that I am of Asian descent. I don't mind anymore, because I know who I am.

Referral Photos :)

Since I couldn't share them back then, I want to share them now...these are the very first photos we saw of our little man. I stared at his little face wondering so much about him...it was hard to tell his actual size in these pics! He was 8.5 lbs here and 4 months old...

Here he is now, at 16 lbs and 8 months old :)

A Different Perspective

A Different Perspective

Immense Loss; Walk a Mile in Baby’s Booties

Imagine for a moment…

You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate," for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.

The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world…the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.

The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face.

But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?

You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.

But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?

Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.

You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.

Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.

More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?

You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.

The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you.

You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.

The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.

Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair.

Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.

He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.

You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.

People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness.

Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.

Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.

--Written by Cynthia Hockman-Chupp, analogy courtesy of Dr. Kali Miller

Baby Check List!

I started this list when Jack was still in the NICU.  I revised it when I was pregnant with Morgan.  I was so excited to pull it out yet again!  Over the years we've gone through baby items, donated things and just plain wore some others out!  This is my current list of things for Baby T!

The items is BOLD are things we already have.  Not too bad at all!  Items in red are things I am way too excited to start shopping for!

Crib

Nursury Decor/Crib Bedding

Dresser

Diapers

Wash Cloths/Towels

Changing Table

Portable Crib

Pack and Play

High Chair

Booster Seat

Car Seat

Changing Table

Baby Blankets

Stroller

Jogging Stroller

Monitors

Crib Sheets/Bedding

Swing

Bouncy Seat

 Baby Gym

Excersaucer

Onesies

Bibs

Socks

Outfits

Rompers

Sleepers

Sleep Sack

Sleep gowns

Grooming Kit

Diaper Bag/Backpack

Burp Cloths

Baskets for Dresser

Thermometer

Diaper Rash Cream

Front Carrier

Hats

Keepsake Box

Infant Meds  (Mylecon, Tylenol, Saline)

Binkies

Dreft

Bottles

Formula Pitcher

Formula

Infant Toys

Rattles/Teethers

Vaseline

Baby Food Organizer

Nursery Water

I am starting to feel that urge to nest and set up his little space in our home :)  I'm also itching to get shopping too!!  I really need to organize what we have first.  There are a few boxes in Morgan's closet, the larger items like the swing and highchair need to be pulled from storage and washed!  I think this is the perfect weekend to get started!

I would love your feedback on the list!  Anything I am forgetting?  He will be around 7-8 months old (but still a tiny fella and not nearly as BIG as an 8 month old) when he comes home.  Any ideas are welcomed!  Also, any shopping buddies are more than welcome too!

An Update on Baby "T"

We did receive our update on our son yesterday and WOW is he ever the cutest thing! He looks like he's doubled over in laughter in two of the pictures, another is quite serious and concerned and the others are just different expressions! He's grown a tad bit, has a tiny wisp of hair and a great toothless, gummy smile :)

They included information about their schedule and feeding and a little bit about his personality. Apparently he's easy to laugh and when he's tired he sucks on his middle and ring finger. After spending a month looking at his very first photo I was so happy to see more of him!

We are still waiting to hear on court news...

THE Call! We have a new son!

I can't share too many details -- so bear with me as I try to creatively fill in the blanks!!!!

It was just like any other Monday morning.  Jack was off to school, Morgan was playing on her own, and I settled with a nice cup of coffee to check my email.  I had been trying to keep my excitement in check.  I checked the Bethany Ethiopian Adoption message boards (members of our agency adopting from Ethiopia joined an online group to share experiences) and noticed we were getting awfully close to the top of the "unofficial waiting list."  I was not getting my hopes up though -- trying to keep from getting ahead of myself.

I then heard the phone ring. Monday, March 1, 2010 at 10:26 am.  I saw the caller ID and my heart skipped a beat.  It was Bethany Christian Services.  In that moment I knew!  Our social worker has never called our house.  We use email to communicate back and forth with her.  I picked up the phone and said "Hello?" and she said "Angela, it's J--, are you sitting down?" I said "Well, I am now!" and she said "I have a referral for you!" I don't think I heard what she said next.  I started to get teary-eyed.  She said "He was born on (certain day in the fall of 2009), and is at "certain" orphanage.  I had to interrupt her -- "So it's a BOY?" and she said "Yes, it is a boy!" and I tried to do the math very quickly in my head and said "And he's under a year old?" and she said "He's 4 months old and just the cutest thing!" I said "Wait!  There are PICTURES??" and she said she'd send the official referral documents through email.  She told me his name.  She told me how long he's been at the orphanage, how much he weighs and also how tall he is.  I remember saying "I am crying, is that okay?" LOL!  Who says that??  She was delighted to share in that moment with me.  I told her I will look for the email and I needed to call Jason right away!

So I called Jason and said "Are you sitting down?" (such a good line, lol) and proceeded to tell him everything our social worker told us in one breath and that we have a NEW SON!!!!!!!  I waited on the phone with Jason all the while hitting refresh on my email waiting for the message from J--.  Finally the message came through and before I opened it, I forwarded it to Jason so we could see his picture at the same time.  Both of us were quiet as we quickly scrolled through a few pages of words until we reached the bottom to see his precious picture.

There he was.  Our son.  A stunningly beautiful little boy curiously looking back at us with his HUGE brown eyes.  He looked healthy and he was wearing the cutest orange and blue outfit.  I studied every inch of his face and his little hands and legs.  Since Jason was at work I had to let him get back to it and we said we would wait until he got home to call the rest of the family.  I did tell him I was going to call my mom right away!

Floating -- surreal -- under water -- slow motion -- I couldn't think of anything else except our new son!  I called my mom and she and grandpauly rushed over so they could see his picture.  It was so awesome to have them see the same thing I was seeing!  I wasn't crazy -- there he was!  Our baby boy!

That evening Jason called Pa Pa and he was so excited!  We called other family and friends and it was so good to finally share this wonderful news!  Uncle Ryan and Aunt Shannon came over that evening to say hello and "meet" their new nephew!

I can hardly believe it's been 13 days since the call.  I have so much more to share but I wanted to get this moment down on paper before my brain lost some of the details!

We have a new son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feeling the Excitement!

The past few days have brought tremendous news for many, many families waiting for referrals from our adoption agency!  There were 10 or more families matched with children (based on the waiting families just on our agency's adoption message board -- which obviously isn't every family working with our agency).  This is a HUGE number.  Recently there has been a lull in referrals where weeks would go by without any matches and then just one or two would occur.  We have kept our excitement in check and knew that we had many, many, many longs months to go before it was our "turn" to receive a referral.  This large group of referrals just made us jump up on the waiting list faster than I've seen in the past year!  There was at least one family's DTE (dossier to Ethiopia) date really close to ours.  The quoted time frame is still around 15 months from the time your paperwork (dossier) gets to Ethiopia.  Our paperwork went on August 7th, 2009.  Based on that -- we still have 10 months to wait.  Based on what went on yesterday...we could potentially receive a referral much, much sooner!

Up until yesterday I hadn't thought actively about the wait.  I was "fine" just going about our busy days...now I can't peel my eyes away from the message board and I admit, my hopes are waaaaaay up!!!  I said to Jason last night a few days ago getting a referral seemed like some far off day...kind of like thinking of Jack's 10th birthday or Morgan going to Kindergarten.  I know those things will happen in the future but I certainly don't think about it every day!

So we don't know anything...we do know that our social worker is absolutely fantastic about sending program updates and information.  I just started reading another book she suggested a few weeks ago.  So we wait...how long?  We still don't know!

For those interested in reading more about the work our agency is doing for families in Ethiopia you can do so here: ETHIOPIA

Immigration Approval!

I had a feeling about the mail today -- and it was RIGHT! We recived our I-797C, Notice of Action approval today!! Now we can get state sealed and in just a few weeks we'll be officially waiting!!!!

PS -- it's so hard to understand but this was THE THING we were waiting on and it's HERE!!!!

Our Home Study Visit!

Our home study visit went really, really well yesterday!  Our social worker, J.A. is so nice and down to earth.  This was our 5th in person meeting with her (about 12 hours total) -- so we are pretty comfortable around her and she knows us really well by now.  Still, it made us anxious to be at this step where our home and family life was truly on display for the purpose of evaluation!!

We started with a basic tour.  We started in Jack's room first.  She loved the art work on the walls (all hand crafted by Jack Riley himself) and said it was fun and neat :)

Then on to Morgan's room.  She liked the built in dresser/changing table/desk and how pretty everything is.

We showed her our bedroom and bathroom next -- she didn't even walk in!  She just peeked in and then we moved on to the living room and kitchen.  She said we have a cute house :)

Next we went downstairs and showed her the storage area and laundry room.  Then on to the play room and family room as she expressed surprise at how big our little house is!  That's everyone's first impression...our house looks tiny on the outside until you come in and walk through both floors.  Our downstairs is the same square footage as our upstairs.  Then we went into "daddy's den" although we didn't call it that -- we just said this is an area just for us and I think I mentioned it was our only "kid free zone" in the house!

I think overall the cleaning and organizing paid off.  Typically I keep a fairly clean house -- so basically I weeded through some old toys and I washed our floors, cleaned the bathroom, etc. -- took me about a day and a half.  It felt like the same work I did when we sold our old house.  Kind of putting accents on the positives...ya know?

We talked about our neighborhood and neighbors and we explained how Jason's family grew up in this house and how Jason grew up just down the street.  We're close to shopping centers, grocery stores, parks, playgrounds and schools.

We went over our dossier paperwork and she complimented me on my organization and said we're really doing well with everything!!

We discussed culturally based activities and what we do for fun!  She played with Morgan -- who was a doll!! and when Jack came home she talked with him a little bit too.  Jack was so cute, although very, very quiet.  He was smiling and in a great mood (YAY!!) and showed her his box of musical instruments.  He did request a drink and asked me for help -- so she did hear his little voice once or twice.

Our home study report (a 7-10 page document of our lives from birth until now, our motivation to adopt, financial information, health information, etc.) should be completed within two weeks from now.

We mailed our I-600A application to immigration (this is a BIG step) and once we recieve the few pieces of paperwork we're waiting on (our physicals from our doctor's office) we can wait for our immigration approval (taking about 1-4 months) and finally our dossier will be complete!!  From then it needs to be state sealed and copied several times over and finally, finally on it's way to Ethiopia!!!!!!!  Our dossier should be in Ethiopia by August (rough guess on my end) and from then we'll wait 12-18 months for our referral.  So I'll stick to describing it best as HURRY UP TO WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!

Our Family in 10 Pictures :)

For one section of our Dossier they require 10 family photos of our house, each member of the family and the room our new child will have.  Here are the photos I chose to share.  These photos will go directly to the Ethiopian government.  This was harder than I thought it would be!

I should take a picture of all of my paperwork -- it's quite a sight!  Our home study visit is on Wednesday and I am getting anxious!  

We are waiting on our medical letters from our doctors -- we had our physicals last week and our lab work on Saturday.  I hope to have those letter by the end of the week and then all we have to do is apply to immigration (which is a MAJOR step!!).  Once we're approved by immigration (which I think takes a few months) we can get our Dossier state sealed, approved and on its way to Ethiopia.  From then -- we wait 12-18 months for a child to be referred to us.  See why I just want to get this finished!!  Our goal right now is to get to the "officially waiting" part of the process!

Child's Room (Nursery)

Children's Play Room

Child's Room (nursery, 2nd photo)

Siblings Jack and Morgan

Jason in the Living Room

Jason and Morgan

Angela

Jack

Our Home and Yard

Angela in the Living Room

Dossier

Lately the adoption paperwork has been overwhelming.  Not so much the forms or letters or instructions themselves -- just the pressure of depending on others to follow the agency's instructions!!  

We have to obtain 20 some documents/statements/letters all of which have to be notarized.  There can be no mistakes!  Just feeling the pressure right now, that's all!

So, today one of the bigger dossier items is being tackled -- our notarized letter from our bank.  Thankfully we live in a small town with a hometown/family bank of which I've been a customer since I can remember (12 years old?)  I spoke with the bank manager this morning and she is willing to do our letter and have it notarized.  She seemed to "get" it where I've read a lot of big banks in larger cities give families a hard time with notarizing a bank statement.

Next week Jason and I both have our physicals.  Once our lab results come in we need to have the dr. write a letter for each of us and it has to be notarized.  They also seemed to "get" it -- where my old family practice did not.  The receptionist acted like she just didn't have the time to answer my questions.  Although I have a longer history at the first practice, I have been to the new practice once (for a cold) and already have a better feeling about getting my physical and medical letter done there.  

We are waiting on our police clearance to come back so I can take a trip to our local police station and have a letter written on our behalf (and, you guessed it! notarized).

The "problem" with the notary thing is the dates on the forms have to match the date of the notary.  The notary's commission cannot expire within a year from now and mostly we have no way of knowing until we get there whether we'll have to start from scratch.  I asked our bank's rep when hers expires and she said 4/2012 -- so that's great news.  I didn't get a chance to ask the dr's office when their notary's commission expires -- but if it's not in the right time frame I will have to get a traveling notary.  Kind of like a side show.  If you're a notary, wanna join me?  We'll have fun...lol

So paper, paper, paper and more paper!!

I get a lot of satisfaction crossing these things off the list though.  So when I get home after my visit to the bank this afternoon I'll be happy to cross that one off the list!!

Our First Ethiopian Meal (Recipe)

I am waiting on the arrival of the teff flour I ordered online but I wanted to share my plans for our first Ethiopian meal :)

Ethiopian Injera Bread

Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup teff flour
• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup water
• a pinch of salt
• peanut or vegetable oil
• a mixing bowl
• a nonstick pan or cast-iron skillet

Directions:

1. Put the teff flour in the bottom of a mixing bowl, and sift in the all-purpose flour.

2. Slowly add the water, stirring to avoid lumps.

3. Stir in the salt.

4. Heat a nonstick pan or lightly oiled cast-iron skillet until a water
drop dances on the surface. Make sure the surface of the pan is smooth: Otherwise, your injera might fall apart when you try to remove it.

5. Coat the pan with a thin layer of batter. Injera should be thicker than a crêpe, but not as thick as a traditional pancake. It will rise slightly when it heats.

6. Cook until holes appear on the surface of the bread. Once the surface is dry, remove the bread from the pan and let it cool.

Ethiopian Beef Stew -- Tsebhi Sga or Key Wet

Ingredients

3 medium red onions
1/2 cup spiced butter (also know as tesmi or kbe)
1/4 cup chili paste (also know as d'lk, a hot chili mixed with water, oil and spices)
1 cup canned crushed tomatoes
2 lbs beef (preferably a beef brisket or any cut of your favorite beef)
water

Directions:

1. Chop onions into small fine pieces.
   
2. Heat a shallow deep pan, about 3 to 4 inches deep.
   
3. Add half of the spiced butter.
   
4. Once butter is melted add the chopped onions and cook it until the onion is caramelized.
   
5. Be sure not to burn the onions, keep stirring!
   
6. Add the chili paste to the cooked onions.
   
7. Mix it well by adding a drop of water at a time as needed.
   
8. Cook for about 15 minutes by adding a drop of water as you stir to stop it from drying.
   
9. Add tomatoes and cook for about 30 minutes more stirring it often and adding a drop of water as needed to prevent it from drying out.
   
10. Cut beef into small bite sizes, about ½ inch cubes.
    
11. Add beef to the cooking paste and cook covered for about 20 minutes or until it is cooked fully.
    
12. Add the remainder of the spiced butter and mix well.
    
13. Let cook of about 5 more minutes.
    
14. Depending on your personal desire, you may add more water to bring it to the consistency you like.
    

I will be sure to post opinions/pictures of our first attempt!  At least I have nearly two years to perfect some Ethiopian dishes before our new child comes home!!

Update!

Jack is scheduled for Botox tomorrow morning!  He'll go under general anesthesia and recieve injections in both legs and his right arm/hand.  We go in at 8:00 am and will be able to come home later that day.

Yesterday we attended a 2 hour meeting at our adoption agency! We learned the general process of adopting internationally. We asked a lot of questions and felt very relieved and excited after the meeting. We have filled out the formal application and sent it this morning. The application was done online so we should hear within 48 hours on whether or not we were accepted into the program.   Please say a little prayer :)  At this point I am not posting too many specifics regarding the agency publically online.  I am not sure of the legality and would rather discuss these things privately!  So please, feel free to email me with any questions!  Also, stay tuned to our Adoption Timeline on the side bar for updates!!

Also on the side bar you'll see our 2009 March for Babies banner!  Click on the banner for our 2009 March for Babies information and of course to donate in Jack and Morgan's honor ; )

I will let you know how Jack is doing after botox tomorrow!

First Steps (of a different kind)

We've been researching adoption on and off for over a year now and we'd talk and read and then let it go for a while.  A few weeks ago we started talking seriously about our plans and have decided to take the international adoption route. Right now we are hoping to adopt an infant from Ethiopia. We filled out a preliminary application and mailed it on Friday.  It's out there heading to the agency right now.

It is a long, long, long process and realistically we know it could be 2-3 years until everything is final and we have a new baby in our home.

We are open to a boy or girl.  We aren't sure if we'll travel or use an escort.  We are open to twins or siblings, and will probably know more once we're further down this path.

I just wanted to share this with my second family!! I'll keep you posted! 

Right now we ask you keep us in your thoughts for getting accepted into this agency's program!!

PS -- I started an adoption timeline on the sidebar if you're interested in watching our progress!

Research

As I mentioned before, we are researching adoption agencies and it's quite overwhelming to say the least.  I've read wonderful things about an agency and turn around and on the next page can read something completely different.  I took a break for several weeks and have been back to reading and researching again this weekend.  Jason brought two books home from our community library and I've been thumbing through them creating talking points for discussion.  So many questions!  Do we adopt domestically or internationally?  How do we decide on an agency?

We can easily answer a few questions.  We are open to a baby of any heritage, race, or home country.  Our love knows no boundaries when it comes to skin color.  When I picture a new addition to our family my mental image changes.  Sometimes it's a boy, sometimes a girl...sometimes dark curls and dark eyes, an occasional red head, sometimes it's a baby that looks like Jack or Morgan...I think you get the picture!

So I am asking you for your help!  If you are familiar with adoption or know someone who is will you please email me at angwilhelm@gmail.com and maybe I can ask a few of these questions?

More?

Sometimes I think it's a crazy idea.  We have our hands full already, don't we?  The number of kids should not be more than the number of adults in the house, should it?  We've talked about more kids and a recent post on "to the Max" really said a lot of what I am feeling!  

One thing I truly know is I won't become pregnant again.  We've been through the death of a baby, a baby born on the edge of viability, and a baby that came 6 weeks early.  I've had two classical c-sections which puts me at risk for uterine rupture...on top of the fact that precipitous preterm labor seems to be what my body wants to do when it's pregnant.  Lifting -- Jack is over 40 lbs and his wheelchair is close to 100 lbs.  Just not an option for me while pregnant!

My heart swells when I think of another baby.  A baby grown in our hearts and in another mommy's belly.  Over a year ago we started researching adoption.  With all my heart I feel this is what is meant for us.  This is by no means an announcement of any sort -- but just getting it out there, in the open so we can talk about it.  We've gathered information on all types of adoption and found an agency in our state that we'd like to meet with when the time is right.  

I've been packing away the baby items as Morgan grows.  I stare at newborns on TV or in the mall with a lump in my throat.  We really could have another baby some day!  There are days when it's simply crazy at our house and I wonder if we could do it...but we have room in our hearts and love to give.  I love being a mother to my children and I know Jason loves being a daddy too.