5/22 day 4 a day in...

5/22 day 4 a day in...

We were scheduled to go see Yezelalem Minch today. We woke up and had breakfast. Today it was crepes, toast, mango, oatmeal, and black coffee. Abel came exactly at 8:30 am as he said he would. He apologized and said he had a change in itinerary because not 2, but 3 families arrived today and needed to pick up their children! He apologized and we said absolutely no need! We encouraged him to take care of the other families and we would be totally fine having an "at home" day today! He was so nice and appreciated our understanding. Honestly, i am sad to have missed the lunch program at Yezelalem Minch but baby Tyler Tamene was in desperate need of a nap.

We had an okay first night together. He woke up several times and was not content at all. He did sleep a few hours through and then about 4 am on he was not happy at all. He wasn't screaming or anything, just couldn't get settled. He is having a hard time getting a whole lot through the bottle. I've tried the cup which is a mess, but he gets more. Although he did spit up after the cup so i think sticking to the bottle is best. He has had some pedialyte because of the loose stools. He hasn't had one since about 4 am and its now 11 am so we'll see. One thing he is a champ at eating is rice cereal!!! It really helps fill his tummy and this is how i have been ending his meals. Starting with a bottle, then rice cereal. Or like last night i did pedialyte in his bottle then made his cereal with bottled water. I didn't want to overwhelm his tummy since he was having loose stools and skipped formula at the 4am feeding.

He had his first bath today after his cup feeding! He hated it but was a good sport. He did like the water running over his hands but not his belly! I lathered him in lotion and put a fresh onesie on him and now he is napping.

As he napped I did a load of sink laundry, i am so glad i packed so much clothing for him. He's been with me 24 hours and he went through 4 sleepers, tons of bibs and cloths, several outfits and onesies. I really hope the stuff dries or we are gonna be in trouble! I think our guest house does offer laundry service for a fee so if it comes to it ill look into it.

One thing thats been hard is the lack of ways to communicate with home. It feels like we are on the other side of the world. And, yes, i know we are but without communication its hard, hard, hard. I am keeping it together today but since tomorrow is another "at home" day i can feel it welling.

We did hear a man with a bull horn outside this morning and we wondered if it was related to the elections? I am glad to be inside and only going out for our trip to the Bethany office on Monday to do the i600 paperwork and to pay our embassy fee. Then Tuesday we have our embassy appointment at 2pm. Wed there is a farewell at Mussie Orphanage. The election crowds can get large and thats the only concern is when there's passion on two sides as well as large crowds it can be a recipe for rioting or violence. I am not afraid for my safety as i know we will not be anywhere near the election or crowds.

I am maintaining and thats good, i am not pushing myself and have been able to rest pretty much. I am still in a fog, most likely jet lag or the altitude and emotionally i know how big it all is but i am really trying to keep in the moment which has worked best so far. I am practicing bonding and eye contact with Tyler Tamene. We both look forward to mealtime!

Kari, Jeremy and Evan are doing well. Even though we don't spend every moment with them eating together and sorting out the details of travel, airports, etc. With them has been an amazing help. I am so grateful to have another adoptive family to be here with. I cant express how important it is to share this with someone. I urge all of my other traveling solo Ethiopia mommies to connect and be sure to stay where the other families are staying!!

This is one of the hardest things, if not the hardest thing i have ever done.

Sent from my iPad

Quick Hello!

We are adjusting (Tyler and I) and had a pretty good day today. He's
still dealing with tummy upset which has me on double diaper duty as
well as "sink laundry" almost constantly! I can't wait until I get to
a wifi spot on the way home...I'll send my journal entries from my
iPad!

This is one of the most rewarding and one of the hardest things I have
ever done. I miss my family like crazy and can't wait until we are
all finally together! I keep taking it day by day.

For those waiting to travel -- be sure to bring back up
bottle/cup/syringe for your little one if they were exclusively cup
fed as babies. Tyler is not liking his bottle and eats almost all of
his formula thickened with rice cereal from a spoon! I have been
giving him pedialyte as well due to his loose diapers. He's sleeping
a lot, but doing very well considering the major life changes he's
going through.

He and I are learning each other. Today we spent a lot of time
practicing eye contact -- I would hold his spoon really close to my
nose and he'd glance at my eyes for a moment and then launch for the
spoon! He is greiving -- I didnt think I would know it if i saw it,
but I can tell. His most favorite time of day is tummy time with his
little buddy Evan (the other families baby). They have this secret
head nod they do to each other it's so cute. They both light up when
we put them face to face. I really can't wait to show everyone
pictures!

Well, I must run now -- I don't want to lose the internet before I hit
send! Take care!

Ang and Baby Tyler Tamene :)

5/21 Day 3 night night baby Tamene!

5/21 Day 3 night night baby Tamene!

Our little man is in bed. He had another loose poopy although it was not as yucky as the first two. He could hardly keep his eyes open! I really wanted to give him a bath tonight but just settled for a wipe down and clean footed pajamas. He drank a few sips from his bottle and i could tell he just wanted to go to sleep so i kissed him goodnight and put him in his crib.

Dinner was excellent. It was potatoes and green beans, i think in Berbere sauce, and the other dish was white rice, ground beef, onions and carrots. It remind me of something we would make!

Right now i am watching Friends on NBC satellite with Arabic subtitles. It is so good to hear something familiar.

Ooh, baby Tamene just sneezed in his sleep!

Sent from my iPad

5/21 Day 3 Finally in my arms.

5/21 Day 3 Finally in my arms. It was exactly like I imagined, and nothing like I imagined. I was brought to the orphanage by Binyam our driver and Abel our guide. Kari and Jeremy waited as Abel said "Tamene's family" and I jumped up! I was taken to the babies room and not given much direction. I looked around and the camera man ticked his tongue and pointed to baby Tamene. I bent down and smiled at him. He didn't seem alarmed but i also went very slowly. I showed him a toy i brought for him and he took it right away. I picked him up and just couldn't believe how teeny tiny he was. He had "big eyes" like Morgan would say, and was stunned but didn't cry.

We decided to come straight back to the guest house and i am glad. We stopped for phone cards, dear Abel got out of the van and purchased them for us. And finally i got to call Jason. Poor jason, it was 3 am and he sounded so sleepy and I could tell he was groggy! I got to tell him that i have the baby and he's fine, and i am safe.

Our guest house is lovely. I truly like it here a lot. It's comfortable, my room is huge! Its very, very clean and well kept. The staff is great and never over bearing but always there whenever we need them. While we were out picking up the babies, the staff tidied up and gave us fresh towels.

There was already bottled water waiting for me in the room. There is a mini fridge, a flat screen tv with satellite programming, a giant spa sized tub with a shower spray. It's locked and secure, in a gated compound. Looking straight out my window i can see some of the city dwellings with the tin roofs.

Ethiopians are truly wonderful people. I feel very well taken care of. Baby Tyler tamene is sleeping soundly in his crib (also supplied by the guest house) and everything feels pretty good now. I can't believe how much it hit me yesterday. I was a great big wreck!!!!! Now, i cant wait to Bond with Tamene and have dinner with Kari and Jeremy and baby Evan!

Sent from my iPad

5/21 Day 3 good morning!

5/21 Day 3 good morning!

Something about waking up really helped reset my mindset this morning.

I took a nice, hot, rinse in the tub and feel worlds better after washing all the airplane stink off! I am wearing a flowy purple skirt and cotton shirt.

I ate breakfast with Kari and Jeremy and we were even able to get online on the computer in the lobby. Dear Jason, i hope you got my email!!! It is soon time for us to meet our children. Baby Tyler Tamene here i come sweet heart!

Dear jack and morgan, mommy misses you so much. I hope you are having a good sleep right now and that you have a good day today.

I had toast, black coffee, one fried egg, bottled water, and oatmeal. It was a rally good breakfast. I think we will be fine here as far as food goes. I truly amm more worried about eating from restaurants and if i can will avoid it altogether!

If i do end up sending these notes or posting them online, please forgive typos or sentence structure. I am still really foggy headed.

Its almost time, so, i will go now.

Sent from my iPad

5/21 Day 3 adjusting...

5/21 Day 3 adjusting...

Baby t and i are resting and cuddling a lot. He seems distant right now and i know his belly is upset because he vomited a little while ago and had a very loose poopy too. You just never know. It could be parasitic or viral. It could be the new formula and rice cereal.

He definitely knows how to roll from his back to his belly and probably the other way around too! He hesitates but does grab toys. He was happier this afternoon but seems tired and sad now. So it is hard to know if he doesn't feel well or if hr is scared and missing his nanny and home.

He is definitely grieving. I didn't
I know how i would know it if i saw it but i do. You can tell he thinks i am strange and everything he ever knew was just taken from him!

I am getting ready for dinner and wondering if there will be staff arguing over who gets to hold baby T!!

Sent from my iPad

We made it!

I am here and finally this morning i got to meet our son Tyler Tamene
Wilhelm!! He is so, so cute and very tiny. Fits right in to 0-3
month clothing! He's sleeping and eating okay -- has had some really
runny diapers so keeping an eye on that.

It's amazing here! I am keeping a daily journal that I will share
when I get home. Internet is sketchy and right now the receptionist
at the guest house is letting us use her computer.

We love our guest house and Abel, our guide. The other family I am
with have been a tremendous help! They are really great people and I
am glad to be with them.

I must run! Hope to email again soon!

Give my love to Jack and Morgan and Jason -- I miss them more than you
could ever imagine!

5/20 Day 2 we have arrived!

5/20 Day 2 we have arrived!

What a day. I cant believe I am here. It is a shock to the system! I don't even know where to start.

The flight was long and crowded but even so it wasn't horrible! The last 2 hours were pretty long! When we got to the airport in addis, we stood in line for our visas. While Kari waited in the visa line i went over to the money exchange line...it's surreal and like nothing else i have ever experienced. After the visas and money we went through customs, then on to baggage claim. It all went really, really smoothly! Our last stop was to find Abel our guide. We went out in to a sea of people in the arrivals/pick up area...and there he was, right in front with a sign that says Bethany!

Abel said our first stop in the morning is going to be Mussie Orphanage to meet our children!!!!!!! We have breakfast at 7:30 am, Abel said to be ready around 8:30 am and we'd most likely meet our kids at 9:30 am. He was very friendly and made us feel at ease.

We checked in to the guest house and it is really beautiful and literally 5 minutes from the airport. I think we are the only families here tonight! More will arrive tomorrow.

I knew I would have to be prepared emotionally for what this would be like. And, well, i was still overwhelmed! I had been able to send Jason a text message from the addis airport and was so happy that he knew i arrived safely. Then when we got to the guest house my phone says no service. It was enough to bring tears to my eyes. And here they come again!

I miss my family....wow, does it hurt! I feel sad, scared, overwhelmed and at the same time, amazed that I will be meeting our son tomorrow. I keep welling up with tears. Everything is so different here. I knew it would be!

I must try to get some sleep it's midnight here but only feels like the afternoon to me! Argh! Going to try to sleep Now!

Sent from my iPad

5/19 Day 1 Take off!

5/19 Day 1 Take off!

It's 10:12 pm... It's been about 1 hour in the air so far. Only 14 more to go.

I am tired but waiting for a drink of water before i try to sleep. There are many kids on this flight...a lot of yelling babies! I keep thinking thats going to be me in a few days!

Ethiopian Airlines is nice. Although not quite as modern as I am used to. Already i've noticed how nice and polite Ethiopians are. Truly, and i barely left the country!

I met up with Kari and Jeremy at the airport. We were able to start talking like we were old friends!

I am really sleepy. Hope to sleep for a few hours!

Sent from my iPad

Leaving Tomorrow Morning!

I can hardly believe tomorrow is the day! I am ready! After 6 stress filled days of making flight plans, guest house arrangements, packing, shopping, setting up baby gear, lining up baby sitters, making tons of notes for Jason, copying important adoption documents, I am finally ready!

I admit, I am nervous. Mainly about flying! Its been about 8 years since i have flown and that was before kids! I am sad to leave my family and get teary eyed when I think of it too much! I am so ready to meet our son! I can't believe I'll be holding him in my arms in just a few days!

I am going to go through my check list one more time! Okay, probably not just one more time...

Sent from my iPad

Testing group email!

Testing group email!

As most of you know by now, I am about to make a trip of a lifetime to bring home our son from Ethiopia!

I depart from Dulles International airport on Wed., May 19th and arrive in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia on Thursday. It is a direct flight with a refueling stop in Rome. We do not get off of the plane in Italy.

I will depart Ethiopia on Thursday, May 27th and arrive back at Dulles on Friday!

I will try to update as often as I can. Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers!

Also, to my other Ethiopia moms, please feel free to post my updates on the message board!

Thanks!!

Ang

PS - I am using our new iPad on the trip. Typing is a little slower for me on this so please excuse any typos I may miss!! ;)

Sent from my iPad

Jack's bike!

He gets to ride a way cool amtryke at school! He can get a few pedal
rotations in on just the second time riding! I would love to have a
bike for him at home!! He absolutely loves it! It's an awesome PT
workout for him!

Happy 3rd Birthday Morgan Leigh!!!!!

WE PASSED COURT!!!

Little Baby T is officially a Wilhelm!!

Baby Stuff!!!

A Different Perspective

A Different Perspective

Immense Loss; Walk a Mile in Baby’s Booties

Imagine for a moment…

You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate," for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.

The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world…the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.

The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face.

But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?

You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.

But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?

Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.

You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.

Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.

More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?

You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.

The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you.

You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.

The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.

Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair.

Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.

He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.

You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.

People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness.

Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.

Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.

--Written by Cynthia Hockman-Chupp, analogy courtesy of Dr. Kali Miller

Look, I drew Daddy!

Oh Morgan! I don't know whether to laugh or be frightened!

Morgans babies

She gave them all toys & binkies!!

Started digging in!

See list in post below :)

Baby Check List!

I started this list when Jack was still in the NICU.  I revised it when I was pregnant with Morgan.  I was so excited to pull it out yet again!  Over the years we've gone through baby items, donated things and just plain wore some others out!  This is my current list of things for Baby T!

The items is BOLD are things we already have.  Not too bad at all!  Items in red are things I am way too excited to start shopping for!

Crib

Nursury Decor/Crib Bedding

Dresser

Diapers

Wash Cloths/Towels

Changing Table

Portable Crib

Pack and Play

High Chair

Booster Seat

Car Seat

Changing Table

Baby Blankets

Stroller

Jogging Stroller

Monitors

Crib Sheets/Bedding

Swing

Bouncy Seat

 Baby Gym

Excersaucer

Onesies

Bibs

Socks

Outfits

Rompers

Sleepers

Sleep Sack

Sleep gowns

Grooming Kit

Diaper Bag/Backpack

Burp Cloths

Baskets for Dresser

Thermometer

Diaper Rash Cream

Front Carrier

Hats

Keepsake Box

Infant Meds  (Mylecon, Tylenol, Saline)

Binkies

Dreft

Bottles

Formula Pitcher

Formula

Infant Toys

Rattles/Teethers

Vaseline

Baby Food Organizer

Nursery Water

I am starting to feel that urge to nest and set up his little space in our home :)  I'm also itching to get shopping too!!  I really need to organize what we have first.  There are a few boxes in Morgan's closet, the larger items like the swing and highchair need to be pulled from storage and washed!  I think this is the perfect weekend to get started!

I would love your feedback on the list!  Anything I am forgetting?  He will be around 7-8 months old (but still a tiny fella and not nearly as BIG as an 8 month old) when he comes home.  Any ideas are welcomed!  Also, any shopping buddies are more than welcome too!